Brave church logo8/24/2023 ![]() Too often in churches we lean into the idea that influential or happy communities are those that have no conflicts. How to get tough conversations started… 1) Accept conflict and commit to the way of kindness. And I believe they can help churches have tough conversations which became my latest book, Brave Church. Drawing on their work, along with my 15 years of pastoral experiences and all the hard conversations I’d had with parishioners, I began to adapt Arao and Clemens’ rules. ![]() I thought about how this research could be applied to church communities. They suggested a better environment for dealing with tough topics-a “brave space” that allows participants to listen to one another and learn from challenges. Several years ago, I was delighted to stumble upon an article called “From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces” in The Art of Effective Facilitation, written by Brian Arao and Kristi Clemens, two student affairs educators at New York University. How can we survive these tough conversations without our worse-case scenarios coming true? Surviving conversations without worst-case scenarios If these people really knew what was going on with me or in my home, would they still welcome me?īut if the past couple of years have taught us anything in all the social unrest and experiences of Covid-19, the time for change is now. It’s easy to be a life-long member of a church and wonder: If these people really knew what was going on with me or in my home, would they still welcome me? Few prayer requests list out the real concerns of on our hearts. No one says what they really want to say. So, before we even realize it, our church small groups and gatherings are simply polite. We are afraid of decline in church giving, too. We are afraid that someone might leave the church (when our church rolls are already so slim).Īnd we are afraid someone we love might never speak to us again. To our conflict weary selves, the thought of bringing up that controversial subject feels like the impossible task. Sunday School classes that got heated quickly and were never the same. ![]() Elizabeth HaganĮlders or deacons meetings that turned into shouting matches. You can connect with her and learn more about Brave Church at How to Survive Tough Conversations:įive Guidelines for Brave Church by Rev. She is also the Executive Director of Our Courageous Kids, a foundation serving young adults who grew up in international orphanages, with educational and mental health support. She is a graduate of Samford University and Duke Divinity School. Elizabeth Hagan as our guest! Most recently Elizabeth served the Palisades Community Church in Washington, DC as senior minister.
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